My Book: Eye Contact: Windows To My Soul
There’s something about starting a new year that gives most of us a renewed sense of energy and purpose. That energy is even typically higher when you know you’ll be celebrating a milestone birthday during that year. 18, 21 and 25-year-olds are generally excited as they embark on different stages of their young adulthood. Once the 30’s and 40’s come around, it becomes clear that time waits for no wo/man. Although for many these are seasons to reflect on growth, maturity and the goals that have been set and conquered over the years, sometimes at this age, the excitement of a milestone birthday approaching is clouded by the “where I should be in life by now” syndrome.
It’s common for people to have expectations of what they hope to have accomplished by a certain age. What’s hard for some to accept is that everyone isn’t on the same timetable. It’s so easy to compare who you’d hoped to be and what you’d hoped to accomplish with what you see others doing at the same age. They’ve traveled. They’re married. They’ve started a family. They have an amazing career. They’re homeowners. They’re business owners. They make “X” amount of money. The list goes on and on. The focus shifts from the fact that you’re celebrating a new chapter of YOUR life, because you can’t seem to take your eyes off of others, and because you can’t accept the fact that the previous chapter of your life didn’t turn out the way that you wanted it to. Before you realize it, the new year that once called for celebration becomes deflated by self-disappointment. (Ask me how I know.)
Although the New Year is supposed to be reflective of a new purpose, new goals, and a clean slate, we often aren’t kind enough to ourselves to truly honor that. Instead, we beat ourselves up over the “shoulda, coulda, wouldas.” The truth is, though - stuff happens. Sometimes we don’t make the best decisions, and then other times life pulls the rug right from underneath us without warning, even when we’re on the right track and think we have it all figured out. There’s no rhyme or reason to it sometimes. The question is, how resilient are you? Can you bounce back?
For some, it’s not that simple. Maybe it feels like for every two steps forward, you’re knocked another three steps back. (Again, ask me how I know.) Truth be told, it can be exhausting. But don’t lose focus. Remember, with age (usually) comes wisdom. Allow that wisdom to reveal to you the beauty of life. It doesn’t always turn out how we want it, but we’re always the artists who design the abstract works of art that are our lives. OUR lives are OUR canvases. If we make mistakes, (and we WILL) make mistakes, we still have the power to use our brushes to make beautiful changes we never envisioned. Sometimes errors inspire the greatest works of art.
Resources may be different. That’s okay - work with what you have. The design might change a bit, and everyone will view your masterpiece from their own perspective, but the ultimate goal isn’t what others think, nor what will be gained once you have to give that artwork up (i.e. when you die). At that point, it’ll be about how others are affected by the picture you’ve painted. As long as you’re living though, life is about discovering peace and working towards your finished product. It’s about the effort you put into designing your canvas; the process during which you learn what works for you and what doesn’t. There’s absolutely no shame in that. NO art is exactly the same. Don’t expect your colors to blend the same way as the next person’s. Give yourself credit for all the hard work you’ve put in. Celebrate your milestones, because you’re worth it.
Janoah White ~ Author/Editor/Blogger
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