My Own Worst Enemy

By: Hollow Tip (hollowtiptalks)

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Lately I have been waking up with Resting B*itch Face (RBF)…a few weeks ago I blamed it on my “monthly”….now that it has passed the only scapegoat left is looking back at me in the mirror.

What the hell is wrong with me? Some readers may say this opening is a bit dramatic considering everyone is entitled to bad days. I would agree if I didn’t have the “inside track” to my recent events….lets briefly rewind:

Note: For future reference we will refer to my everyday personality as “Hollow Tip” & my wild/adventurous personality as “Coco Butter”

Coco Butter decided she wanted to take her love of dance to the next level so she: completed levels 1 & 2 of Zumba training – created a bomb a** 45min routine – applied for a group fitness position – received a chance to audition – auditioned – received an offer to teach.

(A few months later) Hollow Tip decided she was completely bored with her full-time position so she: asked for a raise – received a raise – expressed her displeasure with the raise – notified said company of her desire for immediate advancement within the company – applied for a promotion – interviewed & received the promotion – went to NY for training – was wined and dined by the corporate office for a week – returned home with a wealth of knowledge ready to take on her new role (with a new Olivia Popish wardrobe to match).  

So again I ask: What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve come to realize that despite the fact that I received everything I said I wanted there is still a part of me that doesn’t know what she truly wants. Am I one of those pessimist who takes pleasure in finding things to complain about? Were my previous goals not truly what I wanted? Am I obsessed with finding a false sense of accomplishments on a daily basis? 

Even in the midst of typing all of those questions, I had a few more that popped in my head easily. In all of my adult life I have never uttered the phrase “I don’t wanna be your friend anymore”...imagine my horror realizing I wanted to say this to myself.  So while I love to use my blog entries as an opportunity to vent, identifying a possible solution is also an objective. 

Possible solution: Although life is about learning and growing we must also train ourselves to stop and smell the flowers. Comparisons can be the fuel for healthy competition, but it’s an automatic “L” when you are playing for the visiting & home team. 

**OR I could simply splash some cold water & attempt to “wake” my RFB up…whatever works J