Social Media & Relationships... Need We Say More???

Social Media & Relations... Need We Say More

• Original Article by: Brianna Wiest, Bustle

Once upon a time, you'd solidify your adolescent relationship with a shout-out in an AIM profile. Now that we're in the era of "Facebook official" and selfie statuses, it's pretty clear that the comfort we take in being able to definitively label our relationships — something which can often feel so uncertain and be communicated poorly.

Now, it's becoming increasingly common to frequently post about your relationship (and life). If it's not online, you don't have proof that it happened.

If you think of social media as the modern equivalent of a town square, the place where announcements are made and information is posted and communities are bonded over shared experiences, then it only makes sense that you'd be inclined to share the bits and pieces of your life that you perceive to be worthy of documenting. The point is to post the highlight reel. The concept is to share the parts of our lives that those who aren't immediately close to us otherwise wouldn't be able to see — and there is nothing wrong with this.

Yet social media has an added layer of nuance, as it is a supplement (if not a projection) of our identity, connectedness, and self-worth. We can piece together an image of ourselves, quantify how loved and seen we are by others, and ultimately begin to gauge and compare where we stand socially.

It should come as no surprise that we end up addicted to the thrill that all the clicks and pixels give us, as those things that social media represents — personhood, connection, inherent worth — are struggles that are very deeply embedded in the human condition.

If you want to know how someone wants the world to see them, look no further than the patterns in their social media feeds. This is never more true (or interesting, to be honest) than when it comes to their most intimate relationships. While it's normal and even healthy to be proud and public about who you're dating, there is at the same time a clear connection between how genuinely content you are with your relationship and how often you post about it.

In other words, if we aren't getting a "high" from the parts of our lives that we think are supposed to account for our emotional contentment, we seek that feeling elsewhere. Most commonly, this comes from how we think other people perceive the situation to be. (TL;DR: If we can convince ourselves that other people see our relationships happily, we feel happier about them, as we're subconsciously shifting our point of view.)

It occurs to you less to take photos or check your social media feeds. It's not that you never do those things, but that your life is making you so happy, so why would you want to be distracted by it?

On the flip side of oversharing is going public with posting the things you're not so happy about. But no matter what the context, an issue has never been resolved well after someone aired the dirty laundry for all of their Facebook friends (and family) to see.

They are not using one another to prove to the world that they are happy and lovable and worthy and attractive. They're together because they want to be, not because their deep-seated issues want them to be.

People who go without Facebook for a week report being significantly happier. Depression is linked to excessive social media use, because of social comparison theory. Heavy social media use is also commonly associated with a lack of mental health. On and on it goes. The point is that the nature of the beast isn't so great for us, mentally or emotionally. So it's no surprise that it would also bleed into our interpersonal relationships.

Our Thoughts...

#LeaveALittleMystery

By: Hollow Tip (@hollowtiptalks) cabdofficial.com

A few months ago I decided to take a “mental health break” from social media….well actually just Facebook. The first week was rough, but eventually logging on was no longer an itch desperately needing attention. Oddly I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I could navigate through life without monitoring my friends’ likes & comments. Its amazing how something that should be enjoyable causes such a strain.  [After reading this blog] Google "symptoms of addiction", I am pretty sure 80% of social media users would identify with at least half of the characteristics.

One in particular is "Relationship Problems". Social media has become the grandest stage for mini celebrities to strive for the prominent #relationshipgoals. The quantity of "likes" , "loves" & comments are now used to validate the current state of said relationship (or self worth). Low likes = you may need to step your filter game up or include more details of why this particular moment was "post worthy" / Moderate likes = Your true friends are happy for you, but you know that some are withholding those "blue thumbs" out of spite  / High Likes = "momma we made it"

The ability to abstain from posting excessively is essentially a learned behavior. While sharing every moment is not a sin, we may find that having a low battery (or low quality camera phone) allows us to involuntary live in the moment. As a result, one may discover the ability to truly enjoy their relationship, friends, concerts, vacations etc. in its' entirety rather than capturing the perfect moment to bid for likes. Overall we must remember that social media is one of life's many luxuries, not a necessity.

....Or who knows it could just be me....thoughts?

We All Want The Highlight Reel

By: MrJackBrickhouse (GotMYShades)

"The point is to post the highlight reel!" The author of the above article coined my thoughts with just that one phrase. But why are we all in pursuit of this highlight reel? Maybe because it is hammered into us from every award show we have ever watched. Whenever someone prominent is honored, on que, they run a highlight reel of the most intriguing and exciting moments of the recipient's life. I have yearned to have this same highlight reel in my life. Who doesn't want their peers to watch them in awe of all of their glory. Social media, with Facebook being the leader, provides a platform for everyone to create their own highlight reel. Men and women across the country and around the world are having a production meeting with themselves as I type this text about the next clip for their highlight reel. Whether they are "smoking with bae," taking a selfie outside of an event that they aren't even attending, or "playing house" with their boyfriend, girlfriend, jumpoff, or whatever other category you wish to list, it's all about the highlight reel. Even in death the highlight reel is prominent. Nobody wants a lackluster image on their funeral program.. 

Fortunately, social media has never been my personal journal or scrap book for my life, so all this relationship shit is just silly to me. For the youth all of this is acceptable. If you were born before 1990, you should be ashamed of yourself for participating in this juvenile foolery. The only person you are fooling is yourself. Pretending is at an all time high these days with no signs of slowing anytime soon. I'm always asked why I don't have or have never Facebook. The answer is very simple. I honestly don't give a f*** about what you are doing every moment of the day. This is for everyone from family to close friends. I love each and everyone of the people who are close to me, I just don't need to live my life and their life everyday. 

Social media is one of the greatest tools we have at our disposal right now. It allows us to shed light on otherwise dim issues. It allows us to organize quickly and come together with like minded individuals. Social media has also given us the power to exploit ourselves, services, or products with basically no marketing overhead. But as with anything else, overexposure is usually a negative thing. So while you are floating on a cloud from all the attention your latest post has received, when you post that not so poplar, be sure to stay visible on that same cloud instead of disappearing like the majority of individuals do. You can't be the hero, without being the bad guy! First they love you, then they hate you, then they love you again. Learn to ride the wave of life!

Thoughts????

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